My grandfather named me Nistha, which in Hindi, means faith or determination. Growing up, I was often confused as to why he found this name to be fitting. I aimlessly wandered through high school and college unsure of my purpose, lacking motivation, and putting myself into boxes simply to fit in with the crowd. 

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Going into my senior year of college, I thought I had it all figured out. An internship at a top tech company, full-time job interviews,  a Bachelor's in Cognitive & Behavioral Neuroscience. Yet, I wasn’t satisfied. Something kept nagging at me. A feeling of wanting to tune further into my passions to create a deeper impact in the world. I didn’t question it further until I heard the words I didn’t know I needed over a phone call with a close friend. 

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“You just sound so unhappy,” she sighed as I told her about a job position I was considering accepting. 

 

The next few days I sat with myself, my thoughts, my fears, and most importantly, my body’s response. I meditated, journaled, disconnected from technology, and continuously engaged in conversations with myself.

 

I began asking myself what I truly wanted, what impact I’d like to make on the world. I realized that for so long, I had been hiding my spirituality. I was afraid to speak about ideas such as the Law of Attraction, manifestation, and the energy of thought out of fear of seeming abnormal or strange.

 

Navigating my identity in the months afterwards was difficult- it involved leaving behind ideas, opportunities, and people who no longer served me. At this stage, I came to the conclusion that the only thing holding me back from pursuing my purpose was simply my belief that I thought I wouldn’t be able to. 

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I decided to turn down the job offer to pursue my dreams of motivational speaking, philanthropy, and writing. I had no plan or audience, no one who truly understood what I was doing- let alone why I was doing it.

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Amidst all the self-sabotaging thoughts that surfaced during this process, I kept reminding myself one thing: “The world needs me authentically for who I am.” 

 

Today, I am guiding people to connect with themselves and create their own definition of fulfillment and purpose. 

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I learned that the answers come when you’re okay with not having them, but trusting in something bigger than yourself. Today I realize that my choices are a true testament to my name, Nistha, as my faith in the universe and my determination to making a change in the world are my most unshakeable forces.